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"I bought the ticket oledi..."
Time: 5.10pm
Date: 14th May, 2008
Day: Wednesday
It finally happen.. The "news" that I dreaded so much....................... Has finally happened...
In another 10days, I'll have to stop myself from crying...
I'll have to stop myself from looking sad...
I'll have to stop myself from looking pity...
Then...
I'll have to force myself to smile...
I'll have to force myself to accept the reality...
I'll have to force myself to let go...
And finally.....................................................
I'll have to send him away...
I'll have to hugged him so tightly as if there's no tomorrow...
Then, I'll have to wave goodbye....
To the love of my life......................
My beloved boyboy....................
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*Updates*
Today I finally sent off my boyboy at the airport to a place where he promised that our future might be there...
When it's time for him to leave, I've tried so so so hard to stop myself from crying...
I closed my hand and then used my nails to pressed deeply into my palm, to stop myself from crying in front of my boyboy... but....................
When he hugged me, he cried... It's a very very sad cry... a very emotional cry that meant he didn't want to leave me alone, he didn't want to be separated from me, but its a choice that he's made and can't turn back...
Then, my tears comes so naturally that I'm not able to stop myself from crying... I hugged him so tightly that I wish I wouldn't have to let him go... How I wished I could joined him together... But it's too late now.......
With our lasts kiss goodbye, he left.............
I'm so glad that my bro and sis were with me... at least they're there to give me a mental support by being there for me... and at least I won't feel alone when my boyboy left....
But when we're heading off, my bro took a wrong turn from the parking exit that we'll have to pass-by the Departure Hall once again, that got me crying again...
Not sure if its faith or if the God is letting me to say goodbye to him once again, but when I passby the Departure Hall, I cried...
I cried so so hard... I really really will miss him... every second of every day... I really really wish I could go together with him...
I'm considered lucky that everytime I'm down, there's people around me who cared so much that they're willing to be there for me even though they didnt talk to me... I felt so so grateful to them to at least be there by my side when I need them... Thanks sis, thanks bro!!!
Then I'll have to of course thanks Kalei, Chewdan, Eric Leong, Ah Huei and Calvin Lu for supporting me all the way, to agreeing on my plans for my future and to give me ideas of how I could be with my boyboy sooner than I thought... without you guys, I'll be really really miserable... Kalei, I know you've had a super tired day today but still you're willing to come and cheer me up.. thanks a million!!! And thanks guys for the BKT session!!!
What I didn't expected is that even my mom and dad will also cry when my boyboy said his final goodbye to them... This shows that they've accepted him as part of the family and that they cared for him too... I'm really touched and really is happy that they've accepted him...
For you my boyboy, I'll be OK over here and don't worry bout me as I've got a bunch of people surrounding me who'll take care and be there for me... You just take care and call me whenever you need me no matter what time of the day it is... Just gimme a call and I'll answer and be there for you... I love you and till we meet again...
7 blahs:
You forgot to mention about the strawberry sundae :P
I think the sundae plays an important role to ease the pain~~ :D
yeap...dad accepted Ed as part of his son! Today had a long chat with both mom & dad. They din even want to stop u frm going there. But Dad said at least let ed get a stable job b4 he ask u to move over. he said how can we stop them? they ady until this level, haiz daugther ady so old, let them la...juz hope that she wont waste her talent! Hope she will get back the job where's ur talent are!
THen i did ask him bout ur wedding, he said "how ar? for sure they wont be able to hv wedding dinner, mom how"?
Mom: "Ma go there la...what else? we must be their witness wert, siow, im sure 1 day ur daughter go, u sure cry like crazy"
well...so wat more u want me to say? Let ed stable down 1st ok.
I do hope u both can attend my wedding! wey...u better WAIT till my wedding over den oni u belah! else i BELAH U both!!
I cry so many times...half way dinner pok pek with EZ & parents, i cried again den i go away...hehe
Hi Julieann Jie Jie, you must be strong and tough till he comes back k? I am sure u are a strong girl and u can do it!
time will pass very fast, and i'm sure he will settle down very fast wan! then u can be together with him again! =D
but until then..we should organize another gathering..then we must go for manicure together!!
so if u're bored or anything, just call me out..anytime anyday oso can! =D
mrkts,
Yeah I kinda forgot bout it.. but I do agree that strawberry sundae really do lighten up my mood!! TQ!!
june tang,
i'm really really happy that parents allow me to go over. I'll try to go after ur wedding lar!!! in the meantime, I hope my wedding also u all can attend!!! :D
angie ling,
thanks meimei!!! I'll try to be tough... and thanks to ur korkor also, he did cheer me up with the ice-cream!! :D
huei,
yeah really cant wait for the time where i can be with him again... and yes go manicure!!! then TATTOO!!!!!!! :D
Yo couz,
I can totally understand your feelings. Me and my hubby had to be "separated" for about 1+ years before we can be together again. He left for AU before me. We went to AU together and I left him there. It was very emotional and you need absolutely every ounce of strength in you to be able to pull yourself together and leave. You need to be strong for yourself, Edward and your family and friends.
We are very lucky already, we are not alone. We have very supportive family and friends.
I'm sure you and Ed will overcome this, which will make the end result even sweeter.
Gambate!
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