Time is getting closer and closer.......
It flew off with just a blink of an eye....
I couldn't feel the separation is getting near the past few weeks...
But I could feel it now ever since I got to make the 2 choices...
I don't know how to express my feelings now but I could say that, IF possible, I didn't want the separation to happen. I didn't even want him to go so far away from me. We've been together for 7 years, where there's not a week that we didn't see each other at all. Well we DID have but I could guarantee, the max also is not more than 3 weeks.
Just thinking of being separate from him for dunno how long, my eyes got all blurry with tears...
How am I to pass my time when he's not around me?
What should I do during my free time on weekends?
Who am I to tell of my sadness, happiness, excitement and etc to?
Who should I call if I need advises?
Who should I call if I need directions??
Where should I get a hug from when I need one?
Who should I go to when I need some love?
Sometimes I wish that I could just forget about my job and go with him to wherever he wanted to go. It means nothing even if I got a good career here. It means nothing even if I earned a lot here. He's not here, it means nothing at all...
This morning he told me this, "You are not able to let go of SAP and definitely not your family, so just choose whatever you wanted most. Don't think about me. Just think of your own future."
When he said those words, it hurts. It hurts a lot. The reply that came to my mind is only this, "My future is you. I just want to go wherever you want. Do whatever you want as long as we could be together." But I didnt tell him those. Cuz I couldn't go with him to where he wanted yet. Not yet.
Some would say I'm being so girly saying all those things. Yes I do admit I sounded girly or watever shit. Surely some would say "No boyboy doesn't mean you can't live anymore" or some even would say "Now is the 21st century. Wake up girl! If you could support yourself, what for we need a boyboy??"
Just say I can't live without a boyfriend's or a husband's love?
1/15/2008
Separation...
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3 blahs:
It means u love ur boyboy very much. Dont give a damn on wat other ppl have said. They wont understand...nobody will understand but you do.
How am I to pass my time when he's not around me?
Friends, Family, and Webcam! =D
Who am I to tell of my sadness, happiness, excitement and etc to?
You still can tell him. you know what would be really nice? to send physical letter to each other! lots of sweet things to keep and read whenever you miss him
Who should I call if I need advises?
Who should I call if I need directions??
You will always have us, ur friends. then again u can always still call him, use webcam! heheh
Where should I get a hug from when I need one?
Hug him like there's no tomorrow everyday now, and when you need his hugs, recall from you memory. =)
Who should I go to when I need some love?
His love will always be around you wherever he goes. Look deep in ur heart..he's there. and u're deep in his too! =)
Be strong girl! this is just a small test, just a small obstacle to go through, and i am sure the 7 years you spent together is proof that both of you can make it through. for a better future, for a better life. be strong ya, and remember, you will always have your friends if you need us! =D
i know it's easier said than done, i don't know if i can make it through if i were u, but have faith in urself and what you do, technology is so advance nowdays..u can always chat/skype with him
jace,
Yeah I love him a lot and I believe he too love me a lot....
huei,
huahhh... thanks ah huei!! really veli detailed explanation!! and i think the main point is, WEBCAM!!! hahahahahahah... but what u said is true.. no matter wat, I still got him and I can still call him anytime or anywhere and even see him!! :D
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