Panda eye...

I couldn't sleep well last nite due to the issues that I'm facing... Still a bit emo now... I slept at 2.30am last nite... Can't really sleep properly as my mind kept thinking bout the problem that I'm facing now... It just won't let me go to sleep peacefully...

While working, I didnt know why I felt so angry at myself, at my colleagues, at my friends, at the things that I'm doing..... I just hate and angry at EVERYTHING!!! Even today when chatting with Jace, I felt angry at her.. (sorry dear... no mood ler.. sorrryyyyy!!!) Then I told her I didnt feel like going to sing "K" this coming Friday as I really is not into the mood...

Then she seems sad and said just cancel it and bla bla bla... Even I could feel she's not in good mood too... So after lunch, I still feel no mood at all and was really getting frustrated with myself... dun ask me, I dunno why... Then I go "kacau" KCWong on MSN, telling him my bday coming soon.... hinting to him to do something for me... well actually I just want to celebrate my bday with my bunch of friends... cuz I like to hang out with my bunch of friends and forget bout my problems... At least when I'm with them, I could have fun...

Then he's asking me when is my bday and stuff... So I'll let u see my conversation with him..

Me: ah wong.... ah wong...
Wong: yes?
Me: my bday coming soon leh... hehehehe...
Wong: ha...ha... u so pretty gal...
Me: =.=?? really 1 leh...
Wong: when a??
Me: 21st June loh.... coming soon leh..
Wong: eh that day is ks tan bday lar...
Me: *surprised* oooo... u oni remember ks tan lar... dun remember me 1 lar.. I also bday on that day mar...
Wong: ha...ha... really ah??
Me: yes lar!!! eh kstan really on that day also??
Wong: yes... 21/6... brb

I'm really really truly surprised when he told me that I got the same birthdate as KSTan... I dun have a friend that got the same birthdate as me!!! Well except Prince William... hmmm... consider him my friend also can geh... HAHAHAHAHAHA... *peRaSanNNnNNnn*

Then at night while I was driving home, Wong called and said he's organizing a birthday party for me and ask me to make sure to free myself on that nite... This I'm truly surprised again as I didnt know he'll organize a party for me!!! I'm soooo happy!! Then Larry said at the background that he'll pay for me as it's my birthday... Me LAGI happy as I'm currently pokai... ehehehehe... then KS Tan was on the phone asking this: -

KSTan: Wey, u really same day, same month and same year birthday with me ah??
Me: Yeah loh... really leh... I didnt lie leh... hmmm... eh wait!!! NOT SAME YEAR LEH!!!
KSTan: hahahahaa... same lar... hahahaha..
Me: Not same leh!!! Me 1982 leh... I heard u is 1973 or something leh!!! Almost 10yrs difference leh!!! where got same?!?!?!!?
KSTan: hahahahaa... who said me 1973. No lar!!!
Me: Then u when lar??
KSTan: ei but u seriously is same with me ah??
Me: really ler... u dun trust me, we both take out our I.C. and see lar!!
KSTan: hahahahahaa...

Then in the end, Wong kept telling me to bring more chicks girls as he also wan to know more leng luis (so Jace and Juin, I dun care, u 2 MUST COME!!!)... and ask me to dress nicely on that day and....... ask me to go hide all my fats on that day... =.='''' sighhh... fine... i try my best to cut burn as much fats as i can before that day lar....

I'm so happy that I wanted to tell my boyboy ASAP... so once I got home, I called him but he can't talk as he's driving... so I patiently wait for him to call back that I went to take my bath and watch TV... Even after the show, he didnt call me back... Guess he's busy with his family... Then my uncle called and ask bout whether is my boyboy confirm really wanted to go overseas and etc... So we chat for half an hour while I ask bout all the info and stuff...

Then I can't wait anymore, I call my boyboy to tell him bout the info that I got from my uncle... I didnt even managed to tell him bout the info... he told me this.... "I can't hear u, the line is not clear over my place, can we talk tomorrow??" sighhhhh....

I consider being rejected twice in few hours.... imagine how would I feel?? I was so overly happy with the news that Wong gonna organize a birthday party for me and with the info that I got... then with that sentence, it crushed all my happiness and excitement... sighhhh... so now I'm back to being emo again...

Sometimes I do wonder, do I really meant for him?? Am I the one for him?? What is my place in his heart?? Well maybe I felt insecure whenever his mom is back... cuz he'll concentrate all his time towards his mom... I can't blame him... he can only see his mom few years once... sighhh... I'm being a fucking selfish bitch....