It's coming....

Suddenly feel very emo... might be due to I've re-watched the taiwan drama The Rose... Watching the episode where the eldest bro needs to live outside due to disturbance from the fans on the book that he wrote...

Well, when I saw this episode, it made me think of my boyboy gonna go to somewhere for few years to achieve his dream... The sad and hurt feeling is coming again... Then there's my bro's gf who is going to spore to work... I can see that my bro really don't agree with her going to spore to work but due to some reasons, she must go...

I could understand my bro's feeling... I can see from his eyes and from his facial espression that he's not willing to let his gf to go spore to work... but he can't being so selfish, so he force himself to accept the fact and even force himself of being supportive... What he feels right now is exactly how I felt whenever I think of my bf going to achieve his dream... I think Calvin might feels the same too............

I just got a call from my boyboy this afternoon telling me that he already got whatever he needs and is ready to apply the visa... It's just a matter of WHEN he gonna go apply it... which I think is REAL SOON... When I heard the news, I'm truly happy for him.. cuz his dreams is just an application away.. but when we hung up, I felt sad... really really sad... cuz whats in my mind is totally blank and contains only this sentence, "My boyboy gonna go away for few years... me how?? me how?????"

So it's really coming... the time is near where he'll fly away... far far away... to achieve his dream... Seriously... I do want him to go ahead... but there's always a small/tiny part in my heart which kept calling him not to go... sighhh... I guess life's like that huh?? Full of choices... where the choices are hard to make... Full of ups and downs... where we must go thru it to test ourselves...

So I really have to pray to God... please........ make me strong.... let me go through this............ please............

~ Because of you I'm whole ~