Jokes from fwded emails

I know there's been no updates from my blog recently... but thats due to CNY mar.. so was busy eating... errr no... was busy taking angpaos from my relatives mar.. hehehe.. so here's some jokes i got from my emails...

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets foryou.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enterthrough this door?Malaysians: (pointing the door) can bor?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't shy shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand whereyou'recoming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You siao ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please! Lower your voice, I'm trying toconcentrate over here.Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-looooooo!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

WHENSOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do mehhh!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Celaka lu