I'm so so touched...

Last nite I finally managed to have a chat with my boyboy. With video chat summore!!! I was so so so happy!!! Oh he bought a new laptop and so... I'm thrilled!!! Been over 2 months i didnt see his face adi.. So that's why I'm over the moon now!!! :D

Here's the pic that I captured of him during our video call...

He looks slightly thinner!!!

And his hair is longer... :D

Then we were talking about how we miss each other and talk bout my disappointment in him of "something"... Then he told me the story bout the ring that I gave him during his Year 2006's birthday. That ring I gave him was as a replacement of me when he's in the US.

Yes during that time, he already informed me that he wanted to go US and so, I bought that ring just to accompany him when I'm not beside him...

So the story goes like this...

Boyboy:

remember in msia

i keep forget to wear (the ring)

Me:

yeah
Boyboy:

dunno whether got lost or put where

Me

yeah...

Boyboy:

it'll still re-appear

Boyboy:

just need time to find it

that shows that we r together

u understand what im telling u?

Me:

yeah

Boyboy:

so many times happen in msia

in here

i nearly lost the ring

i almosy cry

and feel so lost like crazy ppl

how can i lost it

thats happen during the trip to niagara falls

Me:

oh ok..

Boyboy:

in when i take the boat to see the 3 falls

the water so big ....

makes u wet

need to wear the poncho

then i take pics

suddenly i feel my finger

where is the ring

shit !!!

it drop dunno where

i search my pockets

dun have

shit

i search everywhere

dun have

me like crazy ppl

look here and there..

i dun even enjoy the scenery

everone is busy taking pics

im the only 1 busy squat down and walk here and there look for the ring

Me:

no 1 asked u wat u looking for?

Boyboy:

in my heart im so sad and dissapointed

why i lost it

cos too loose

then i say die la this time

ur present give me lost liao

no mood

then when boat go back

i didnt give up

i try to search again

alomost everyone got down

i still searching

at last ........................

hehehehehe

Me:

where it dropped to?

Boyboy:

i squat down and saw the gold blink ring

under the dunno what

i saw someonme got stick or not

no

Me:

lucky its still can be able to be found

Boyboy:

then the staff come up to sweep

then i tolf her i drop a ring under the ...

then she push the ring

at last i got back my ring

im so glad

i immediate put the roing in my shoirt pocket and lock it

make sure cannot drop out again

Me:

yeah

Boyboy:

then i really thanks the girl and ppl

i feel so much lighter by now

Me:

yeah

Boyboy:

then u say le

Is it something hidden behind the ring

then makes me think no matter what i must go back and marry u

i dowan to wait for visa or pr

to me ... most important is u

thats y i so wanted to go back

Me:

thanks hubby...

Boyboy:

in ur mail u ask me to save $$ to marry

i think i really cant save here

im sorry

maybe i can save when i got back msia

then i think of when i got job back in msia

we open a joint a/c together

then i will make sure to save some moeny inside each month

Me:

ok..

Boyboy:

thats y .... i might make the wrong decision coming here ... but i wont regret

i might make wrong decision again not going back the other day

but i wont regret

Me:

why?

Boyboy:

i knew i wasted so much money

but as travel and experience lo

money lost can earn back

Me:

hahaha

that word is wat chewdan kept telling me

Boyboy:

but experience cant buy with money

Me:

yeah i know

Boyboy:

its true

thats y although i spend so much money here

and didnt earn back the money ... i didnt feel so much pain

although got la

but not so much

cos i think i learn their culture

how ppl can come here for their life

some ppl dun even have

work so hard then die .... what for?

at least i came here .... see something ...

Me:

yeah... its true

Boyboy:

what do u think

Me:

i agree on it

anyway, about wat u told me

i'm really happy that u told me wats in ur heart...

but i'm thinking, since u've decided to stay till nov, u at least have to go get some job

u cant really waste ur time doing nothing and not save up anything

Boyboy:

when i got back ... i really need to save money

Me:

u cant really that, for the next few months u're there, u're gonna be not working

its really not possible

Boyboy:

i tot of not wasting time here .... cos the work here is tough

then i tot of quickly go back and look for a job

Me:

actually...when u said u were planning to come back on 23rd july

i was actually very happy...

and i really thought u'll come back that day

Boyboy:

im sorry

Me:

but when u said u were gonna extend, i just accept it and thought maybe u really wan to try again

i tot u wanted to try for another job again

so i let u...

so i tell myself, no matter how i miss u, u will still need to experience urself of working on a new environment

make urself more tougher

so i tell myself, just let u be and i'll still be waiting for u here, and support u

Boyboy:

guess i really fuck up ....

cant stay in tough environemnt

been pampered

Me:

maybe

but when u told me, during our chat, u said u never thought of working, i'm really disappointed

Boyboy:

u dissapointed with me

im sorry

Me:

yes

Boyboy:

huh...

Me:

cuz i really never expected that from u

when u're here, u never give up that easily

whenever u face a challenge, u will still go thru it

but when u really said those things to me, i am really disappointed and heart broken

it makes me feels that, u were like never thought of ur future, never tot of our future

Boyboy:

im sorry to let u down

Me:

and it makes me feels that, how come in kl u're so tough, but once in US, u were like that?

maybe i didnt support u enuff?

so i got frustrated...

that nite, i can hardly sleep

bcuz i'm thinking, here i'm missing u so much, kept on supporting u on watever u're going thru

supporting u on watever decisions u made, but how come suddenly u give it all up?

its like i wasted my "effort" in comforting u, supporting u, and especially missing u so much

so i got frustrated...

i cried... can say i almost cried the whole nite

Boyboy:

maybe im not that strong

then when u think now

im not suitable person

Me:

u imagine i really miss u a lot, its like there's really really something missing in my heart but i cant reach out to u

no... u're wrong

when i send out that email, thats wat i really feel... which is dissappointed

then after i send out that email, i was waiting for ur reply... but i got too tired so i slept early...

and when i said about "if i were to make the decision, the ending is not wat u might like"

i really tot of giving up...

cuz i felt so pain, i'm suffering

Boyboy:

i might let u down ... when im here ... for not working and saving money

but i promise u ... i really do care a lot and love u

Me:

then when i met up with gary and chewdan

i roughly told them how i felt

gary asked me not to make a harsh decision so fast

he said to let u reply the email and see wat u think

then on the drive home, i'm asking myself, am i willing to give us up?

Boyboy:

if u were to dump now ... i understand

i just feel so useless for cant work in the environment here

Me:

actually, even up till now, i dont feel u're useless

but i understand... cuz u've NEVER work in such a job b4

so its not surprising if u really cant do it

if ppl asked, they might say u're useless and etc

but i would ask them to TRY it themselves

and then oni say whether u're useless or not

bcuz "needle dont poke on them, they wont know the pain"

Boyboy:

that's why i wanted to go back and work and save money for our future

if u still believe in me and my personality and character

Me:

but seriously, during the drive home, no matter wat i , i still cant give us up

cuz i really love u a lot

wat gary said its true also...

he said i've know wat type of person u are, why suddenly make a harsh decision of giving up now?

he said "dont tell me, after 7yrs++ of relationship, now oni u said u're disappointed in him??"

Boyboy:

yeah

its ture

give me up for what i cant work here

i think its so unlogic

if i cheat u or beat u then its fine

leting me go ,... for i cant save money

i think its stupid

i so sayang u ...

hehehe

Me:

yeah i know

its just that, sometimes, i'm being too emotional that i didnt know wat to do

during that time, i just tot of giving up so that i wont suffer so much pain

Boyboy:

hai ya, "tou pei yin sat"

Me:

but in the end, i know even though i gave up, it'll caused more pain

Boyboy:

wrong way oledi

Me:

yeah...

Boyboy:

sor ju

oi mm oi ngo?

Me:

up till now, do u know how i feel?

Boyboy:

i ask first

see !!!

Me:

even we're so far apart, but we're still thinking alike

Boyboy:

i really think we r meant to be together

So that's how our conversation that I kinda like cried in between cuz I'm really really very touched by what he said to me. It really shows that he loves me...

I know some of you might've vomitted when reading halfway but I can say... I'm really happy... :D