7/24/2008

So so losts...

I am so dead inside.. So so dead..

Why? Cuz i miss my boyboy... So damn much that it's killing me.. Inside..

People might say, he's just gonna be away for 6 bloody months!
Yeah but in this 7yrs++ of our relationship, we've never EVER be away from each other for so bloody long!!

Then they might ask, so u cant live without him if he's away for so long?
Well i'm still surviving ain't i? But i'm dying inside. Might as well be dead! I kept thinking of him EVERY SECONDS of the day!

Or they might say, walao eh.. Like that also say die lar, cham lar.. Pls lah!
Well if u said that, this shows that u never EVER really love someone as much as i love my boyboy, so u wont freaking understand!!!

And they might finally say, time flies lah.. 6months, blink an eye then pass liao!
Dun bloody lie! I blink damn loads of time adi and it's just FINALLY ONLY 2month pass!! In 2months i'm miserable and so dead inside.. I cant imagine wat will happen to me after 6months ok?!

Yeah i do admit i'm those 'sticky' kinda gf but thats bcuz i just want to spend as much time as possible with my boyboy.. Someone i love so deeply.. Is that so wrong?

Sighhhh... I really really miss him...

I cant call him whenever i wanted cuz of the time difference..
I cant see his face whenever we chat online cuz he's using a public PC which dun have a webcam...
I cant feel his warmth whenever i need him cuz he's so far away...
And most importantly, i cant be by his side whenever we need each other's support...

God.. Can u feel my tears?

5 blahs:

My Lil' Monster said...

Hey... Be STRONG. I'm sure he has the SAME feelings like yours. Both of u like 'Pinang di belah Dua'. Also a test to the both of U..

He is a faithful and a Nice Guy. So dun worried so much.. he is coming home real soon.

julieann said...

my lil' monster,
yeah thanks... I'm trying to be strong but sometimes is quite hard... but i'm trying...

yeah he is really a very good guy and i'm lucky to have met him. :)

Huei said...

i know how u feel..u r very strong. u've made it through this long 2 months, and it's not easy.

people who say that u're weak or useless for feeling sad are worst themselves. u r very strong, no one will understand because they don't have someone they love as much. 7yrs++ relationship and still going strong, that's the love u have for each other.

those that thinks that u r useless are lagi useless, because they themselves don't have a love going strong for 7yrs! probably bored or lusting for love from other men/women!

be strong juju..we'll always be there for u wan!! the wait..the pain..will all be worth it..the moment u see him in person again. be that in a month's time, or in 3 months time, it'll all be worth it =)

Anonymous said...

i read that hidden msg in ur post, that feeling in ur heart, maybe people din realise and thought its just a decoration but i can read whats there, i wonder if he read that too....

julieann said...

huei,
thanks a lot huei!!! and sorry for not replying earlier.. been busy.. T_T

anonymous,
hmmm... I think that... I kinda like.. dont want him to really read it as that's the thing that I can't tell him because I don't want him to make the wrong decisions...... so....